


Hatake Sakumo: Teen Dad vs The World

by crybabyenligne



Series: just for fun :P [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Family Feels, Fluff and Stupidity, Fuck Canon I Do What I Want, Gen, Humor, Infidelity, Self-Indulgent, Short Chapters, Single Parents, Tags May Change, Teen Dad AU, Time Skips, Work In Progress, and I mean it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28947510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crybabyenligne/pseuds/crybabyenligne
Summary: Hatake Sakumo never meant to be a fatherAlternatively; I write shorts about Baby Kakashi and his Father bc this is the most stressful year of my life xx
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Hatake Sakumo, Hatake Sakumo & Jiraiya
Series: just for fun :P [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181522
Comments: 10
Kudos: 43





	1. Newborn

**Author's Note:**

> i lov kakashi a whole lot
> 
> and his life story hurts. especially his dad
> 
> and i have intense baby fever 24/7 
> 
> so 
> 
> voilà

The most terrifying thing Sakumo has ever done, is slowly and carefully have his newborn child deposited into his shaky arms by a sharp-eyed nurse, and feeling the absolute lack of weight his little son has; Sakumo is so used to lugging injured teammates, carrying heavy weapons, depositing heavy loads of paperwork — he’s not held something, held a _creature_ as small and as fragile as this in many, many years.

He’s a bit numb, in all honesty, to the proceedings happening around his frozen body. It’s like he’s locked in a genjustsu. He doesn’t hear the nurse’s low chatter as she moves from him to attend to the Keiko, wiping her brow with cloth while another cleans up and checks for any severe tears. 

He can’t look away from him. His son. He’s been born with a little tuft of hair that is so white it’s almost translucent but Sakumo has no doubt it’ll darken in a matter of months until it’s a silver that matches his own. 

He’s a tiny little thing.

He came early. And he came kicking and screaming. Keiko had sworn him and his clan to hell and back the whole trip to the hospital, cursing their honour and integrity as she pushed and heaved and screamed. For such a small child, so fragile and delicate, he sure made a hell of an impression upon his aching mother and traumatised father. Not even an hour into his existence and Sakumo has no doubt he's going to be a little hellion.

“Well?” A weak voice calls, and he reluctantly lifts his head to meet Keiko’s weary gaze. “What’re you gonna name the brat?”

Sakumo frowns. “That’s our son-“

”You’re son,” she corrects, those beautiful dark eyes gazing at the bundle in his arms with distrust and even a tinge of fear-

And Sakumo feels guilty all of a sudden. He’s knows Keiko didn’t want to have the kid (Hell, when she first announced the news he freaked out and felt every emotion _except_ parental) but abortion is illegal here. Konoha’s laws do not allow for it, no matter the situation. But now that Sakumo is holding the little thing, the tiny child, the minuscule pup, he finds he never wants to let him go again.

“Sorry.” She waves a hand, dismissing it and the heaviness of the situation in a manner only the Uchiha can do, and he turns his eyes back to the bundle in his arms. Gently, he shifts his grip until he can trace the soft skin, lightly brushing his finger over his pale nose, rosy cheeks.

He looks like a squashed potato.

Sakumo is rapidly beginning to fall in love with his tiny, pink faced, ugly little potato.

”Hatake Kakashi,” he says. “Meet the world as it meets you.”

* * *

Hatake Sakumo and Uchiha Keiko had met, as most teenagers do, at a sleazy night club in the civilian sector where the security was lax and most people were too hopped up on drugs to differentiate between ninja and 'normie'. 

He was freshly seventeen, drunk to the high heavens and back thanks to Jiraiya’s poor influence, and had absolute zero experience with a woman.

She was seventeen, fucked up on drugs she took to try and block out the fresh fight with her boyfriend, and loved nothing more than to make a man squirm.

They were a match made in Hell.

There had been something thrilling about it all — sneaking behind her boyfriend’s back, the late night rendezvouses, the high tension behind each fuck like at any second they could get caught. They only ever met at night, and they rarely spoke with having gotten at least one orgasm out of the way.

It had been fun for all that it lasted. She was an Uchiha, which gave her status normal civilians could never gain, but not being a ninja took an element of danger out of it that lured Sakumo in. Being with her was risky but not in a way that made his instincts scream. The line they walked had been delicious.

But then, eight months in, que the breeding link discovery, and then a broken condom, and a plan B that didn’t work- 

And here he is now.

He’s eighteen years old, he lives alone in his clan compound, his best friend is a world renowned pervert, his fuckbuddy has left him to try a life of faithfulness and to win back her ex, and weirdest of all-

He’s a dad.

The panic has been there for months, of course. The _‘oh fuck I got a girl pregnant’_ and the _‘oh fuck we can’t get rid of it’_ and then the _‘shit there’s a BUMP. I actually did that oh gods this is real-‘_.

Keiko is willing to pay child support of course but he’s virtually on his own otherwise. He clan is small and widespread, and Keiko hates kids. She didn't want him, barely looked at him after birth, had to be kept in line by Sakumo's overanxious worrying the entire pregnancy (all she'd have to do is glance at a cigarette pack and he'd be on her like a blood hound on a fresh scent). Sakumo doesn’t even know if he likes kids either, he was an only child and both his cousins are a decade older. And farmers.

He sinks to the floor with a groan, back resting against the wall as he crosses his legs, wrinkling his nose at the faint smell of beer from the spontaneous bar hop that he had joined with Dan and Tsunade a few days ago. This is not the best environment for a child but it’ll have to do. He can get a cleaning crew in later on in the week, once he’s bought some baby food and a few more toys. He has a room ready for Kakashi, filled with play mats and toy shuriken and so many soft toys. A lot of soft toys. One could get lost in the veritable pile of junk and he still stares at it sometimes and wonders _'will it even be enough?'_

Jiraiya found out he’d be a godfather and honorary uncle and freaked out a bit. The nursery is an ugly green colour thanks to him. Orochimaru had found the second-hand hysteria fun and didn't bother to stop him.

Kakashi makes a quiet noise, something soft, almost a chirp, and Sakumo coos at him on instinct, positioning him so his pudgy little face is resting gently on the junction between his neck and shoulder. Against all the odd the Hatake genes came out triumphant over the infamous Uchiha genes, so he has a feeling that like when he was young, Kakashi will be a lot more canine like for the first couple years of his life. 

In the olden days his clan lived side by side with wolves in ways even the Inuzuka would find shocking. And only time will tell if Kakashi has inherited the Sharingan from his mother's side of family. The world-feared soldier in him is beaming with pride at the idea his own offspring could unlock such incredible power, but a smaller, new little bit of him prays he does not because that could make him a serious target -- a ninja with Uchiha eyes and Hatake upbringing would gather many enemies just by existing. 

But normal, eighteen year Sakumo hopes that he doesn't because he does not want to deal with the politics if he does develop it.

”Fuck,” he whispers softly, realisation hitting him like a truck. “I’m a dad.”

His face screws up.

”Oh gods what will the wolves say.”

The past nine months have been a blur and soon after the announcement? Agreement? That Sakumo would be raising Kakashi alone he had started taking back to back missions to save up enough to last him until Kakashi would old enough to be left alone for Sakumo to return to small and mostly safe missions. Throw in the clans accounts, and they have about two years until money starts to get tight. He had, unfortunately, forgotten to tell Reki and the rest of his wold back why he was taking a minimum of five missions a day, barely resting, obsessively harassing the desk chunin when they didn't have one available for him immediately, so he can only hope they don't yell. Or swear. Kakashi's first word probably shouldn't be 'fuck'. 

_Would be funny though,_ he thinks privately and can almost hear his mother scolding him from the afterlife. 

An image comes to life, before his eyes. A child, with his silver hair and Keiko's dark eyes, running around his house, soft footsteps padding on the wooden floors. The quick feet of his wolves following behind, he can almost hear their gentle admonishments when his kid stumbles and falls to the floor with a giggle. The sound of Jiraiya's booming laughter, a beer in his hand while he sits on the sofa and talks to him; Orochimaru clattering around in his kitchen and Tsunade cursing as she fixes whatever hellish dish he came up with. Dan is avidly watching the chunin exams on TV. His big and cold and empty compound so full of life and _love_ -

"I don't know if I'll be a good dad," he tells Kakashi, and privately hopes that his little baby finds his low timbre, rough nice to hear unlike all the other babies who'd prefer a soft and higher cadence. "But I'll try my best. And you try your best too, okay? Be easy with me, kiddo. I'll teach you all about our clans culture, keep you warm and safe, and you can be cute and help me steal the cute girls from Jiriaya, yeah?" 

It'll be difficult. There's no sugar-coating it. Due to his heiritage, Kakashi is going to be virtually blind and deaf for the first couple weeks of his life -- he'll be completely reliant on Sakumo until he is more developed. And even after, he'll need to learn to walk, to talk, to move around with grace. Sakumo has held so many lives in his hands since he became a shinobi at the ripe old age of seven and still he's never felt such anxiety like this ever before. 

"I'm gonna be a great dad," he tries to convince himself. 

Kakashi wiggles against his neck. Sakumo decides to interpret it as a show of support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 靂 or レキ means lightening! but don’t quote me on that; my japanese isn’t that great and online dictionaries cannot always be trusted. i’m not very good at coming with original names so if u have any suggestions for the wolves, should they show up in later chapters, feel free to offer :P
> 
> ngl i’m nervous posting this bc the last time i went multi-chaptered it took me about a year to get too nervous and then i deleted in a fit of insecurity. fly high, driftwood
> 
> comments, kudos, criticism welcome


	2. 6 Months Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing this chapter made me grin like a motherfucker
> 
> hope y’all enjoy it too!

Kakashi is six months old and a fucking menace.

His favourite activity is grabbing strangers’ hands when they stop to coo at him and talk to Sakumo, and, with the sweetest little fanged smile, try to bite the tip of their finger off.

The last time it happened, the victim had thankfully been an Inuzuka herself and she had just roared with laughter as Kakashi tried to gnawed down the bone. “Fierce little puppy, isn’t he?”

”No doubt about it,” he says proudly, puffing out his chest. Kakashi, strapped up to his chest for safe keeping, gurgles and spits out the finger, content with his teething session. There’s blood on his mouth and Sakumo tries to wipe it off as quickly as possible before Kakashi decides to munch on him instead. “Got a little monster of your own?”

She smiles at him. “Yup! Two little cretins, about three years old now. They ain’t got teeth like yer little one but they find a way to make themselves a nuisance anyway.”

Thus far, Sakumo has been doing pretty okay with the whole dad thing. Loving Kakashi has become as easy as breathing. He's both a head full of wild, almost curly silver hair, and a pair of sleepy dark grey eyes that match his own. He's much to young to determine if his face itself will look more like his or Keiko's, but it seems everything else about him is all Sakumo. About a few weeks after the three month mark Sakumo had to bring Kakashi to the doctors out of desperation because he wouldn't stop crying. Turns out, his olfactory sense is thrice as strong as it should be. 

_"He's too young for a mask," she'd said. "And we don't know how a seal could affect his developing chakra coils. For now, if you're anywhere but home, keep him close to your chest and neck -- a familiar scent is likely to muffle all the other stuff. Ease him into wearing masks after two years or so."_

"You're more of a wolf than I am," he mutters into his soft little head of hair, trying to subtly press a kiss to his skin while Kakashi drools against his chest. Based on the cooing he hears from down the isle, it doesn't work. Face rapidly going red, he turns away from the gaggle of giggling teenage girls and heads straight into the alcohol section. 

Perfect. Now he's got the parents judging him. 

Their shopping adventure continues onwards. Kakashi is small and cute and gets Sakumo the numbers of several pretty women of varying ages; the Inuzuka from before hunts him down and gives him a flyer for a first time mothers club; he rescues Jiraiya from a crowd of enraged geishas and wields Kakashi's fanged mouth like a weapon when his own bared teeth don't get results (the difference being that Kakashi will bite and won't get into trouble for it). All in a good days work. 

"It's all in the name of research," Jiraiya bemoans, lying like a starfish on the tatami floor. Kakashi is enjoying tummy time in the corner with one of the toads acting a glorified babysitter. The toad is in more danger from Kakashi's curious hands than Kakashi is from anything else. "My books are going to be a hit, so I need the highest quality and most in-details scoops available!"

"Y'know, I don't think they would see it from the same perspective. I know I wouldn't like if some weirdo started describing every action I take during a mission run in excruciating detail, but made it unnecessarily provocative too. And spoke about the perkiness of my ass." He leans against the counter and contemplatives wrapping up the hand-shaped bruises and cuts that litter Jiraiya's shameless visage. "Leave them to their work, find a willing participant."

The white-haired sannin shudders at the implied commitment. "Absolutely not. Why worship one woman when you can worship them ALL!"

"Respecting women goes a long way to not having them beat you up," Sakumo replies mildly. 

"Homewrecker."

"Sex offender."

They grin stupidly at each other. Sakumo sets off to get the med kit. 

He’s barely been gone a minute when he hears Jiraiya’s summon make a strangled ribbit, and the summoner himself gasp loudly. “Sakumo! Sakumo, come here! QUICK!”

He spins on his heel, pulling a kunai from his pocket, dropping the first aid kit as he hurries back. He skids to a halt in front of the half-open door and steps in, demanding, “What? What happened?!”

Jiraiya is sitting upright, upper body twisted to stare at Kakashi-

Who is standing upright on his own two feet, little face screwed up in concentration. The toad is in his hands and squished up against his chest.

Kakashi takes one slow, wobbly step forward. Sakumo almost drops his kunai on his foot. Jiraiya is just staring, open-mouthed. 

“Help!” The little summons cries. “He’s squeezing really har-“

”Shut up my son is walking,” Sakumo barks.

Kakashi turns to him at the sound of his voice and let’s put a small stream of incomprehensible babble before clumsily turning his body towards. And then he takes another step, towards Sakumo. And another, and two more.

”Oh my gods he’s walking,” Jiraiya says, a mystified expression on his face. Sakumo’s heart is in his throat and he can’t move as his son makes his way towards, face screwed up with concentration, choking the toad as he goes along.

Eventually Kakashi reaches him and falls forward into his shin. He drops the toad, winds his little fist into the loose material of his tracksuit, and tilts his head back to offer Sakumo a toothy grin, grey eyes sparkling.

Jiraiya and Sakumo start yelling simultaneously.

Sakumo swoops down and picks him up, smile so broad he smiles his face will split in two as he spins Kakashi round and round, barking out his praise. Jiraiya is whooping and hollaring, laughing as he shares Sakumo’s excitement. The toad sage picks Sakumo up then, and abruptly all three of them are twirling around, laughing and screaming.

”That’s my nephew!” Jiraiya crows. “A genius, a prodigy, he’ll kick all the other babies’ asses!”

Kakashi’s giggles as he tosses him up the air and showers him with praises makes his heart feel fit to burst. He presses a big, wet kiss to his cheek while Jiraiya brings out a celebratory bottle of sake, and whispers, softly, “I love you, little wolf.”

Kakashi slams his mouth against his chin in a sloppy imitation of a kiss. Sakumo howls with laughter and outside, the wolves howl too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a little reminder that bc this is a wip, chapters are likely to under go editing as i figure out how and where i want this to go.but nothing big: if it is big, i’ll tell ye to check it out lol. otherwise dw about it
> 
> another thing of note: the way i’m treating kakashi’s growth is a bit of a mix between how puppies develop and the normal human stuff. so if you’re wondering why he’s got chompers and fangs at 6 months when most babies only start teething at 4months, that’s why


	3. 1 year and 6 months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u know when i said these would be short i Meant It
> 
> i’m writing these as stress relief there’s no plot to this whatsoever

When Kakashi first spoke, Sakumo almost passed out from excitement. 

They’d been in the garden, Sakumo collecting vegetables and Kakashi acting as his little shadow, when he felt a tiny shove against his calf from where he was crouched before a row of carrots. Kakashi peered at him, his shock of silver hair barely past his knee, and demanded, “Papa. Up!”

Sakumo’s vision whited out. 

When he came to his face was smushed against a carrot, and Tsunade was looming over him, Kakashi on her hip with a grumpy frown on his face. He's wriggling in her grip, gnashing his fangs in warning, staring down at Sakumo with bright, intelligent eyes. 

"Get up!" She barks and nudges him in the ribs. Because she's Tsunade, he goes flying back until his back cracks against the fence encasing their garden. Kakashi laughs as he groans in pain and Tsunade smiles with him. Little shits, the both of them. 

"Papa," Kakashi calls again, making grabby hands at him this time. "Shit! Shit shit!"

Tsunade makes sure to catch him this time when he faints, this time from outrage. 

Kakashi isn't quiet a babbler. He prefers to mime and use actions to get what he wants, but he likes to name the things he sees when they go out into the village, or pretend to read the scrolls Orochimaru leaves out on the kotatsu when he's babysitting while Sakumo trains outside. 

"Bvjsbdlvboeib?" Kakashi asks, tracing a careful finger across the sleek kanji. He looks at Orochimaru for approval so he nods accordingly. 

"An interesting point, I must admit. However, such a thing cannot be done with such untrained chakra. Near perfect control would be required."

"Wweinoeubvo!" Kakashi suggests. The Snake Sannin hands him a treat and pats his head. 

Unfortunately the peace cannot last. 

“They want me to return to missions.”

Jiraiya cocks an eyebrow. “So?”

”What about Kakashi?”

”He’ll have us, won’t he?”

”Not if you guys are sent out on missions too,” Sakumo counters. He knows he’s being a worry wart but he can’t help it. It’s in his blood. “Or if all four of us are sent on a mission together.”

Tsunade snorts from where she’s lounging on the floor, reading a magazine. “All four of us would be an overkill.”

Sakumo can hear Kakashi harassing Orochimaru from outside the bathroom door as the man tries to take a piss in peace. He encouraged Kakashi’s babbling antics once and now the child won’t let him have a minute’s rest.

”Guys,” he near whines. “Soothe me. Why aren’t you soothing me?”

”Sannin,” they say in unison like it explains everything. 

“And besides,” Jiraiya says with a shitty grin. “I think I know a guy.” 

‘A guy’ turns out to be Namikaze Minato, Jiraiya’s eager little apprentice. 

“He’s like eight years old,” Sakumo scrutinises. The kid wilts like a leaf. 

“He’s ten,” Jiraiya corrects and pats the little blond dandelion on the back to cheer him up. “And Minato-chan here already has lots of experiencing taking care of kids.” 

“I have four baby cousins,” the kid says, voice squeaky but eyes as haunted as a war torn soldier. “And Jiraiya-sensei sends me in D-Ranks when he wants to perv on-“

Jiraiya slaps a hand over his mouth as Tsunade’s head pops out of a doorway. “The hell did you say?!”

”Nothing,” Minato and Jiraiya chime in sync, the former still muffled by the hand on his face. 

“He’s got this,” Jiraiya assured Sakumo before leading Minato inside the house, calling out for Kakashi. Said child pops his head out from where he was curled up inside Sakumo’s flak jacket and stares after the pair with a babyish face of mistrust. 

“What do you think?” He asks Kakashi. Who knows who is best to baby sit his darling son than his son himself? 

Slowly, painstakingly, Kakashi sounds out, “H-he willllll. Do.”

Sakumo beams at his son. “Well that’s that sorted then!”

They set of in pursuit of the Sannin and his student, silver heads swaying as they go 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oiiiiiiii
> 
> thought to pop this one out real quick! i mentioned it in another wok of mine but i got exams real soon and i need to stuff/find a way to cheat. u know how it is. and thus, i won’t be updating or responding to commits for a while come next week. 
> 
> so here’s a little temporary goodbye. i’ll see if i can add more once i’m back
> 
> ＼＼\\\\(۶•̀ᴗ•́)۶//／／

**Author's Note:**

> me: istg i’ll add more to my series, add more chapters to my fics, i swear i will-
> 
> also me: new wip~ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
> 
> sakumo is kind of a freeing character to write considering that we know so little about him, so as long as i stay between the lines of 'kind, noble, rlly loved his kid' i can rlly do what I want w him. it's lovely


End file.
